A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't." she replied.
"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in China with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental procedure,
she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I was just picturing how condoms are made!" she said.
| | Posted by Thomas at 11:23 PM - | |
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1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
| | Posted by Thomas at 11:13 PM - | |
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1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
| | Posted by Thomas at 9:05 AM - | |
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40-ish................................49.
Adventurous..................... Slept with everyone.
Athletic..............................No breasts.
Average looking.................Moooo.
Beautiful........................... Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure............ On medication.
Feminist..............................Fat.
Free spirit...........................Junkie.
Friendship first....................Former slut.
New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.....................No BJs.
Open-minded.....................Desperate.
Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.......................Bitch.
Voluptuous........................Very Fat.
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate................Stalker.
| | Posted by Thomas at 9:03 AM - | |
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I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel!
| | Posted by Thomas at 2:52 PM - | |
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